Today I am going to talk about my own experiences while growing up and how I am feeling
because of the changes. This topic has been bothering me for a while now, that is why I wanted
to share my thoughts and feelings with you.
I am 19 years old now, which means, that my teenage days are behind me. Becoming an adult was
always a thing I looked up to when I was a child. I was obsessed with the idea of adolescence and I
always thought, that being an adult is nice and cool. I thought life would get easier to understand
when I am all grown up.
Well…, I realized life did not get better, I still cannot understand a single thing in life. I would even
say, that it got worse.
Now I understand that being a kid was the happiest point in my life.
When was the point I realized I am getting older?
I think it all started at the point when I realized, that Christmas, Birthdays and other special days are
turning into normal and not special days to me. Christmas was my favorite holiday and this year I
realized, that it is not as special to me as it was. Since it was my favorite holiday, I got really upset.
In general, things that made me laugh are not that fun anymore, and it is apparently strange to do
things, that I enjoyed when I was young. “You should grow up!”- That is what I was told until I
actually got an adult.
In school, we started to prepare ourselves for the life after high school and while getting to know
and understand life after my graduation, I got scared, I felt not ready yet.
I am currently studying for my graduation, which is actually going to be in a few months. I have
never thought, that the time is going to pass by that fast! I feel like I was 16 years old a month ago,
but I am turning 20 this year – which is crazy!
Responsibilities and changes
Being responsible for myself feels weird. I have to plan and make my own appointments, something
that was always done by my parents when I was younger. Also driving a car by myself is
something, that I still cannot really believe. My parents used to drive me to many places all the time
and now it is different, I have to drive them everywhere. Do not understand me wrong, I love to do
that, it just feels weird, since it is something grown-ups do.
I am currently also planning, how the time after my graduation from High school is going to look
like, which is actually going to concern my future. I have to make life-changing decisions and that
is concerning me, because I am afraid of messing up my life by making wrong decisions.
Life as a kid was much easier.
Every time I see a kid, it makes me happy, because I envy them. Life is passing by way too fast and
I wish I could enjoy more of the fun things of life. Things are getting way too serious and I am
actually going to live abroad without my family soon.“Am I ready for this big step?”, “Am I ready
to live by myself“- Those are questions I ask myself every day.
If I would get the chance to speak to my younger self, I would definitely tell myself to use the time
and be happy as long as I can. Life as an adult is scary and very exhausting. I wish I could turn back
time and be happy once again.
Maybe I am going to be happier in the future, and maybe all the happiness I have been looking for,
is covered by the stress and fear of some things I have to go through right now.
While writing this blog, I realized how despondent and unhappy I have been. For now, my goal is to
find happiness and live a happy life.